Low self esteem

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Self-confidence can be defined with the following concepts: Having one's ideas accepted, optimism, being willing, love, pride, independence, trust, being open to criticism, emotional maturity and having the ability to accurately evaluate one's capacity.

What is Self-Confidence?

Confidence; It is about having a positive and realistic understanding of ourselves and our abilities. On the other hand, lack of self-confidence; It can be defined with concepts such as self-doubt, passivity, submission, over-adaptation, loneliness, sensitivity to criticism, insecurity, depression, feeling of inferiority and feeling unloved.

How Does Lack of Self-Confidence Develop?

Feelings such as inferiority and hopelessness usually arise after some negative life experiences at home, school or work. For example, when you were growing up, your parents may not have provided you with a healthy and supportive environment. They may be very critical, demanding, and/or overprotective of you. As a result, you start to think negatively about yourself.

Losing a family member or close friend. For example: your parents' divorce, leaving your home for the first time (separated from family and friends), breaking up with your boyfriend/girlfriend.
Rather than perceiving negative events such as failure and disappointment as an experience, dwelling on them. Criticizing oneself or one's abilities too harshly.
Appreciating the consequences of events as worse than they actually are.
Feeling too much pressure to meet the demands and expectations of your family and friends about you, and this prevents you from developing your own identity and making your own decisions.
Setting unrealistic goals.
Fear of failure. For example; When you fail a course, think of yourself as a useless and unsuccessful person, rather than thinking of yourself as a good person who failed a course.

How to Increase Your Self-Confidence?

Think positively about yourself.
Set goals that are realistic and meet your expectations. Set reasonable goals so that what you achieve is close to the goals you originally set out to achieve. This supports your self-confidence and satisfaction with yourself. William James, one of the pioneers of psychology, said: “Satisfaction with oneself = What we have achieved / What we aim to achieve.”
Be proud of yourself and reward yourself when you achieve something.
When something bad or sad happens, notice your negative thoughts. Instead of acting purely on your emotions, think logically about your situation.
Focus on your strengths rather than your weaknesses. Realize that you are more competent and assertive in certain areas than others, and that being perfect in every aspect of your life is impossible.
Don't attribute what you do and achieve just to luck. Instead, be proud of yourself for your personal accomplishments as well.
Defend your ideas. In other words, learn to express your own feelings, thoughts, beliefs, and needs honestly and clearly, without violating the rights of others.
Learn to stand up for your rights and say “no” to requests that are unreasonable for you. Training on how to express your ideas clearly can help you improve your self-confidence.
Make a list of the issues you believe are important in your life. Then write down ways to improve or change them. Of course, not all of your problems can be solved easily and quickly, but there will be some areas where you can take immediate action.

Things to Remember to Improve Self-Confidence

Focus on the good things instead of the bad things.
Think positively about yourself.
Learn from your experiences.
Set realistic goals.
Be brave.
Keep learning.
Do useful things.
Pay attention to simplicity.
Welcome the change.